Hey everyone!! I have been gone for forever and a day I know!! Some of you are keeping up with me on Facebook but I haven’t written anything in a while…Of course, as you all know-especially if you are a pastor!-we have been working like maniacs here in Shreveport. We aren’t satisfied with the way things are going so we are constanly reinventing ourselves, the way we pastor and the church. I’m sure we’ll never be satisfied until we meet Him face to face!! That’s when the peace will come…until then though! We are trying to do all we can do to win souls for Him and offer a place where people can come and experience His all consuming presence and power.

 I was reading this morning in Joshua-not that I wanted to but that’s where I am at in my reading the Bible through!-and I came across something that I thought would be a great place to start back up my blog, especially since it is the beginning of the year.

I am still in the relatively boring part of Joshua where he is doling out inheritances among the children of Israel. Now if I was a real preacher, I’m sure I could’ve already found me ten messages in these passages! You know how they do…looking up the names of the places and tying that into the names of the tribes or something like that. But I’m not that deep! So I was sorta glossing over a lot of the words (don’t tell the Lord) until something really touched a nerve. I stopped and said “Whoa! Even I could preach a sermon on this!!” So here it is…

Jonathan has declared that 2010 would be a year of “More” for us here at Faith Tabernacle. Praise God!! Last year, he told us that we would be solidifying and would probably lose some people…I DID NOT like that word!! But as always happens, we did see that come to pass as people decided that they did not like what direction we were leading the church into and moved on to deader…I mean, greener pastures. So we lost people but also solidified and grew in leadership, spiritual growth, and maturity…

But we were sooo glad to hear the positive word that came forth from our pastor and leader for this year! MORE! (Of course, we only want more of the good stuff not more of the bad stuff!) We are walking into the new year with faith and expectation! (BTW-If you haven’t read Frank Damazio’s book “The Attitude of Faith”, stop reading this, go out and buy it immediately!!)

So, I come across this Scripture in Joshua 18:3 that says, “Joshua said to the children of Israel:’How long will you neglect to go and possess the land which the Lord God of your fathers has given you?’” Wow! Is that incredible?? Most of you probably know the background but let me hit the highlights…Moses led the children of Israel up to the Promised Land but of course, was not allowed to enter in. So Joshua took the reins and led them in with power and authority. But once they got in and won a few battles, the people decided they didn’t want to fight anymore. They wanted to rest and enjoy the victories they had already won.

I understand that! Completely! The battle does get wearisome a lot of times and I will be the first to admit that there are days I want to give in and just go lay down somewhere! Warfare is hot and messy and people get killed!! No wonder they weren’t too interested in pursuing their territory! BUT the difference here is GOD, JEHOVAH, THE KING OF THE UNIVERSE had already GIVEN  them this territory! It was already theirs! They didn’t even really have to fight for it. They just had to step out in faith and take it! The Lord had already delivered them in such supernatural ways and yet they were still hesitant about pursuing.

So it is with us! God has promised us so many things in His Word. He also gives us Rhema words periodically that speak directly to us, either as a church or individuals. But it is up to us to RECEIVE the promises God has given! We must step out in faith and pursue what is already ours! God is faithful to perform what He has promised! He doesn’t lie, cheat or steal. He doesn’t take back what He gives. His word does not return void or empty. He will do His part if we do our parts!

Another phrase that jumped out to me was in chapter 19, verse 10, “…the border of their inheritance.” It made me wonder, “Where is the border of my inheritance?” It might have been a little easier for them knowing exactly where their borders were, whereas, for us, it is more of a faith walk. Unfortunately, we don’t have a leader that says, “Ok…your territory is business. You will have many prosperous businesses and will make tons of money to support all sorts of ministries. You will also be a guider of young men. You will start a mentoring group and will lead it for ten years…” We get words of prophecy and wisdom by people used by the Spirit but most are not that detailed. Many of us cry and pray and worry and wonder just exactly what God has planned for us. “What Lord? When? Where? How?” are often our cries. We don’t often know our borders or boundaries and that is frustrating…

A Scripture that my kids read during family devotion is tugging at my heart right now. Isa. 54:2-”Enlarge the place of your tent, and let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings; do not spare; lengthen your cords, and strengthen your stakes.” We were doing dream boards. You know, when you cut out pics from magazines of all the things you want in life and glue them on a poster board? (We had an unusual amount of pics of Taylor Swift on all three boards…Two wanted to marry her and one wanted BE her…) 

But this Scripture shows me that I can enlarge my own tents and territory! Even if I haven’t had a specific word about exactly everything God has for me, I can still reach for MORE! I intend to have all the God has given me! I step out in faith, believing that God’s Words will not return void or empty in my life! He WILL perform it!

So I speak MORE into your life today! More blessings, more prosperity, more faith, more maturity…whatever you need, God can and will supply! Step out in faith and receive what God has already given you! Enlarge your boundaries and lengthen your cords! Don’t be small-minded and give into to what the devil wants for your life. He wants to “kill, steal and destroy” but God wants you to have “abundant life” and to receive our rightful inheritance!

God bless you on your journey! Keep the faith! Ask God to show you the borders of your inheritance so you can stay on track with what He wants for your life. He will do it!’

On my way,

Stephanie

At home on this dreary, wet day…Of course, I’m not like a lot of people. I don’t curse the rain or wish it would clear up so I can go run around. I actually enjoy being at home! I am what you would call a “homebody” or a nerd or something…Give me a good book and a comfy chair and I am good!

I am finishing up Vicki Courtney’s “Five Conversations You must have with Your Daughter.” It is really good! I applaud her cause which is Teen Virtue and of course, keeping that virtue intact until marriage! I agree wholeheartedly!! I did come across something today that turned me off a little though…She states the entire book that we should be honest and open with our kids about sex and everything that comes with it. Yet, she says that she personally (and I definitely give her kudos for not preaching that this is the decision everyone should make) would not discuss birth control methods with her daughter even if she knew her daughter was in rebellion against God and her parents and was being sexually active. 

I would have to say that that was about the only thing in the entire book I disagreed with! This is one of the main reasons the antagonists of the abstinence message are against us! They say that the abstinence message doesn’t work because the kids are not being properly educated in ALL areas of this subject so they are unable to make healthy choices and protect themselves if they do find themselves making the choice to be sexually active.

Look at it this way…I talk to my kids about stranger danger, people grabbing them, etc. I have tried to warn them of the dangers of pedophiles and how they can be someone they know or a stranger in the street. I have told them how to protect themselves and how to run, scream and make a ruckus if someone ever tried to snatch them. (They have heard it so much that now they usually just roll their eyes or say something sarcastic…)But you know what? I’ve also tried to talk to them about what to do if something bad did happen to them. Warn them yes! Tell them how wrong it is for people to harm children but also prepare them so if (God forbid!) they ever found themselves in some kind of horrible life-altering position, they would know how to protect themselves as best they could.

One day-as we have on many ocassions-we were discussing homeless people and how they might have come to be that way. I explained to my children that I doubt any of them got up one morning and declared, “You know what? I’ve decided that I want to be a homeless person.” I believe that most of the time it just happens through a series of choices and circumstances. And I also told my children that one day they may find themselves in a bad situation through choices, etc. but Mama is only a phone call away! Do you think I would question or ask for an explanation for their bad choices?? No! It would be “Where are you? I am on my way!” (Sure I may beat them half to death and ground them for life later…) But I would try to be there for them in any situation, especially if their lives were at risk. I would be at their side if I could, not condoning their actions but trying to put their safety first. At a party where things get crazy? One call, that’s all!!  My husband and I teach, preach, yell, nag, whatever it takes to let our kids know what we believe and expect them to do. BUT IF-and I feel my preach comin on here!-they stray and disobey (like we all do), I will be there for them and help pick them up WHEREVER life may dump them!

You may think, “Wow! She doesn’t have very high hopes and dreams for her kids!” Actually, I do! I know that my kids are called and chosen for great things, as are yours and all the children of the world. I also know that the devil’s work is to try to find a way-whatever it takes!-for children and young people to not see their destinies fulfilled. But I am soooo thankful that God says in Jer. 29:11 (paraphrase) that He has great plans for them, a wonderful future in store. But that He is also giving HOPE. A future AND a hope so that if something happens on the way to fulfilling your destiny and future, something bad that would derail you and make you turn around or give up, He assures you that when He gave you that awesome destiny, He also threw in a little something extra. A little something called hope. (I’m preaching now…)

I really didn’t intend to go off on all of this but we are doing something at our church right now called, “Planting Seeds of Purpose” and this subject has been on my heart for some time…God was saying this in a message to exiles, to people who had disobeyed Him time and time again even though He had warned them over and over. He told them that He still knew the plans He has for them even though things didn’t go as He wanted them to. So He adds, ” THEN (thank God for a “then”!) you will call upon me (will we be there for our kids when they fall, like God is there for us when we fall?) and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” And this is the part that absolutely FLOORS me…”I will be found by you.” Is that just like the best verse in the Bible??? No matter where we are or what we’ve done, God is right there with us! He really doesn’t ever “leave us or forsake us”! We leave Him and forsake Him but He is always only a prayer away when we need Him. What a great and awesome God we serve!!

I want to be the mom He wants me to be! A mom that still looks out for my child’s best interests even if that child doesn’t care. I pray that my children all grow into adulthood and maturity without a scratch or even the scent of failure or worldliness on them. BUT if they decide to rebel and do things I don’t agree with, I pray I can have the patience of some friends of ours who have dealt with these very situations with their daughter. When she called them, messed up again, they were FOUND BY HER. They were there for her no matter what mess she found herself in. I think that just happens to be something called CHRISTIANITY.

Think about it. Maybe you have already had to be “Jesus” in your child’s life. I’m sure it’s not easy. Even though we love our children with all of our hearts, I’m sure that there are some times when your patience and love can be stretched pretty thin. I pray for you today if you are in that predicament. I pray that your child will find his or her way home. And I pray that when it happens, you will be standing there, with the light on, waiting right where they left you.

On my way,

Steph

I completely expected the scale to show a lower number when I stepped on it this morning! I was shocked! I mean, I have been dieting for two days and exercising for three! I should’ve lost at least five pounds!! I guess as I inch closer to forty, I am going to have to adjust my expectations when it comes to losing weight. No more skipping breakfast and losing a pound…This is extreme! What a drag…

I’m reading John Maxwell’s new book about dreams and he says something interesting about disappointment. I’ve heard the gist of it before but it rang true even more this week. He said that disappointment is the gap between expectation and reality. We usually are only disappointed when we think something will be one way (expectation) and it turns out not to be (reality). A lot of our stress comes from this problem as well. When we think something is taken care of by an employee or spouse or child and we find out it wasn’t, then we have to stress out and scramble around to make it happen.

All of us disappoint ourselves, others, and God. I don’t think this is something we can really help because we all have such high expectations of ourselves and others. Then when that level of excellence is not reached, we are disappointed.

I am in that state right now. I am disappointed in myself and other people. Not in God of course! God is always good! I am just stressed, saddened and upset by the actions of others. I hate to be this way! I am not afraid of conflict nor do I run from it when a confrontation is imminent. Yet, that’s not exactly what I hope I get to do when I wake up every morning. Why can’t everybody just be perfect? Why can’t things just go the way I have them planned? Things would be so much better…

Patience. That is one of the things I struggle with. I want it all and I want it now! God is teaching me to deal with people and myself with patience. Patience is a virtue that I can’t quite grasp. It’s not in my DNA. With me, patience is a “God thing.” I can’t do it on my own. It’s all about Him because I am unable in my flesh.

So pray for me today! Pray that God will supernaturally intervene in my life and grant me the patience that I need to deal with people and not get frustrated when things don’t go my way or according to my expectations. I am in this for the long run and I know that we don’t always see results right away. My walk with God will be perfected only when the pearly gates slam behind me. Until then, I will have to walk in love and try to see my life through God’s eyes, knowing that eternity is what is important and I will have to be patient to see that day.

So I will keep trudging forward. One step at a time, one day at a time. I know my Redeemer lives inside of me and He will help me make it!

Be blessed today! Know that there is someone out there that struggles as you do and that you have a friend who knows your pain. But we will make it! Through the Holy Spirit! I pray for you today and you lift me up.

(And also send me any “lose weight fast” tips!!)

I’m on my way,

Steph

Unbelievable…

I am cleaning out a drawer yesterday-yes, I’m still unpacking!-and find an old prayer notebook. I think it’s from about 2006 when I was in Alexandria. It’s pretty cool! Well, the notebook isn’t cool at all. It’s just a white binder (I’m definitely going to have to do something about that…). Anyway, I have lots of prayer prompters in it:Scriptures, pictures of friends and family, lists of places that need evangelizing. But I also had notes. Lots of notes. Just little tidbits of things that caught my spirit in Scripture or things that Holy Spirit had spoken to me. And I couldn’t believe when I found this:

“You’re not who you were

You’re not who you want to be

You’re not at all happy with who you are right now”

Oh, it gets worse…

“As a melancholy/choleric , I just want to be pure something! For me, everything is black and white, not charcoal, ecru or mist. So for me to stand between two things-in the indistinguishable gray area-is frustrating. When does perfection come? (Did I not just write about this yesterday?? I know…I am messed up!) Is there a place of contentment in this world?

Who you are is familiar

Who you want to be is fantasy

Who you are now is frustrating

I may not be able to follow my heart right now in some “big” areas but I can choose authenticity in small ways only I know about.

As a driver and a thinker (perfectionist), I tend to think of where I should be, what I ought to be doing. I deeply analyze my shortcomings, my inadequacies and quickly skim over what I’m doing right. I am so busy pushing myself to do more-and it is me doing the pushing-that I overlook or at the least celebrate inadequately my victories and accomplishments.”

Wow! Does that sound familiar or what? It’s kinda creepy…It just goes to show that each woman struggles with different issues. Some worry, some gossip, some are vain. We try to get the victory but our insecurities just pop their ugly heads right back up. And I guess my struggle is wanting to reach some utopia in my life and never quite making it. I will never get it all together! No matter how many self-help books I read, I don’t guess I will ever be perfect.

What a drag…

So help me out here ladies! Stand alongside me-imperfect me-so I will have some company. We are all in this together! None of us have it all together. Oh, you may think that everyone else has got it goin’ on but you. But that’s not true. We are “complete in Him.” He is the “author and finisher of our faith.”

Without Him, it just ain’t gonna happen.

And without you, I will struggle on my journey. You are the hand I hold and the encouraging voice I hear.

You are Jesus with skin.

I need you. And you need me. Let’s forget about trying to have it all together and just enjoy the journey!

I will if you will.

On my way,

Steph

”

Walked. Good.

Went to school to kiss kids and straighten out some lunch money confusion. Good.

Met some neighbors and invited them to a block party I am organizing. Good.

Prayed for my neighbors as I walked. Good.

Studied some for the spring campaign at church. Good.

Worked on bills online. Good.

Walked right by groceries sitting on counter from last night. Bad.

Still haven’t washed dishes that are in my BROKEN dishwasher. Bad.

Am late for an appointment at church. Bad.

Am out of garbage bags, hamster bedding, and hairspray. Had to call and pay phone bill over the phone because somehow it didn’t come out of my account. Am late getting to bank. My house is a wreck and I’m behind at work.

Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Why is it so hard to focus on the things we do right? Those “bad” things always seem to cancel out all the good stuff-at least in my mind anyway. This weekend, someone commented on how much we had accomplished-with the help of the Holy Spirit, of course!-in the last year. She was all smiles reminding me of the programs we had launched, the remodeling we had worked so hard on, the incredible numerical growth and the awesome  move of the Spirit. I smiled slightly. I said, “Yeah, things are going awesome! I don’t know if it’s just our (mine and Jonathan’s) personalities or what but we always think about what needs to be done and don’t take time (or adequate time) to really think about what has been accomplished.”

What is wrong with me?!

It’s called the perfection trap. I am real suceptible to it because I am Melancholy/Choleric, which means I want it perfect and I want it NOW! Unfortunately, we are products of our society. We see what we think is perfection every time we open a magazine or watch the TV. Women like Angelina Jolie are everywhere we look! Hey! You should be an award-winning actress, have ten children, have a hot boyfriend and also be one of the most beautiful women in the world too! No prob! Or Heidi Klum…Did you see what she looked like in a bikini six weeks after giving birth?? It’s not even fair!!

Yet, as Christians, we are supposed to be “called out, set apart, holy.” We should “set our minds on things above, not on things on the earth.” We are commanded to “be not conformed but be transformed by renewing our minds.”

But God never said it would be easy.

Going against the crowd is never easy. Finding our fulfillment in God is the exact opposite of where “the world” (I mean, the worldly system we walk in everyday) finds their fulfillment. This world is all about self. The “me” generation is alive and well. If it doesn’t make me feel good, then I’m not gonna do it.

What we have to understand and teach the next generation is that living for God doesn’t always make us “feel good.” In fact, other than the times that God says we would have joy and peace and living waters overflowing and stuff like that, the rest of the Bible is pretty much about staying the course in the midst of trials. And you know what? God says that when we stay faithful, we are perfected.

I wondered about those “perfect” Scriptures for a long time. Then I studied about how that word doesn’t mean perfect as in flawless but perfect as in mature. God thinks we are perfect when we mature in Him! In a world that despises maturity in every way-physically, mentally, emotionally-God is calling us to be mature, to grow.

One of our covenant partners, Kevin Martin and I were talking yesterday about salvation. There are varying views in different denominations and organizations about when you actually “get saved.” Some say you just have to believe that Jesus is God’s Son. Some think you are saved after you are baptized. But Kevin said something profound! “We aren’t saved til we get to heaven!” Wow! So true! When we hear those pearly gates click behind us, we will know for sure that we are saved! In other words, we won’t reach spiritual perfection until we are, well, dead.

Suddenly, I’m not in too much of a rush for perfection any more…

Let’s make a pact today! I commit to you that I am going to focus on the thing I do right today. Those clean clothes still sitting on the couch?? Well, maybe I get to ‘em and maybe I don’t. Whatever I do, I am going to commit to spiritual maturity. I want to grow today…spiritually. No, I am not going to suddenly lose those pesky fifteen pounds nor will my wrinkles magically disappear. But “I am glorious within and the King is enthralled with my beauty.” (Ps. 45:11) I will put my focus back where it needs to be-GOD and how much I am growing in Him!

Be blessed! Let me know you are reading! Send me some comments!

On my way,

Steph

I don’t do perfect.

I don’t have perfect hair, a perfect house or perfect kids. Just call me Jack. As in Jack of all trades.

Or Jill if you prefer.

I won’t lie to ya. I am good at a lot of things. I am a good housekeeper, a good cook and a good mom. I do pretty good being a wife, an author, a songwriter. I am good at teaching, administrating, and singing.

But I’m not perfect. Have never been and certainly never will be. I am doing just the same as everyone else is:putting one foot in front of the other as I do the best I can.

I am really thankful that God is speaking to me about purpose. The spring slogan and motto for our church is “Planting Seeds of Purpose:God has a plan for me.” Jer 29:11 is our Scriptural emphasis:”I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for a future and a hope.” Each and every one of us was made for a specific reason. Pastor Rick Warren says it this way, “What were you put here on earth for?” Do you ever wake up in the morning wondering, “Is this all there is to life? Am I living the life God had planned for me?”

I know we get busy living life and can easily forget the eternal things. I know by reading Ecc. that God has “put eternity in our hearts.” As I was walking I prayed, “Lord, put eternity in my heart.” Then I realized that He has done His job. The “eternity” or the emphasis on eternal things is there in our genetic code. We have just let other temporal things crowd that realization from our everyday lives. The higher purpose of life, the eternal that God has placed in our lives is what we should be focusing on every minute of every day. Of course we have to do all the mundane things that keep our lives running smoothly like working jobs, cleaning house, paying bills. But if we could keep an awareness of the eternal things that our lives are accomplishing, the mundane would become less of a nuisance. We could use those times to thank God for allowing us the privilege to work, to pray for our finances and to ask God to clean our hearts and minds. I am convinced that everyday life or Monday mornings can be just a spiritual as Sunday mornings if we go about it in the right way.

This is something we should be teaching our children. The Bible says “train them up in the way they should go…” Many people hold on to this as confirmation that their children will eventually come to God because they were raised in church. But I submit another view of this Scripture. According to other translations, this verse also can mean to “raise them up according to their particular bend.” I believe we should raise our children up in the way God has bent them or made them and then, once they are walking according to their purpose and destiny, they wouldn’t think of going down another path. Why would they? Once we find the peace and joy that comes through the fulfillment of God’s plan for our lives, there is no other ”high” that can top it! 

I always knew that I would be in the ministry. Back in the day, I was going to be a “preacher’s wife.” Now, I have come to acknowledge that I myself am a called minister! I am a pastor in my own right. But back then, I wasn’t really exposed to many women preachers or pastors. Thank God for fresh revelation! I am not hindered by my gender! God has a plan for me!

Not just the guy I happened to marry. 

I believe that the voice that was there speaking to me, telling me that there was a higher calling for my life, kept me from the many things I could’ve gotten myself involved in. I realized that those things weren’t part of my future. They didn’t take me where I wanted to go, where I was drawn to go.

And I know that not everyone has that same testimony. Many have had to go through terrible struggles with drugs, sexual addictions and abuses of all kinds. So I am thankful for the second part of that verse in Jeremiah. I almost shouted when I read it. God has a future for us but He also has a HOPE! So if you have been sidetracked on your way to fulfilling God’s destiny for your life, God gives you hope!! He says later on in this passage that if we will turn to Him and seek Him with all our hearts, HE WILL BE FOUND BY US! Is that awesome or what?!! If we blow it and get way off-track, He still has a plan for us! If we are on our deathbeds and didn’t do a thing for God while we were healthy, God still has a plan for us! He will be found by us, NO MATTER WHERE WE ARE!

So I submit to you today that God never called you to be perfect. He also didn’t call you to be Mother Theresa or Pastor T.D. Jakes. He called you to be who you are-warts and all. God gave you your own assignment. He gave you a particular bend when He placed eternity in your heart. And no matter where you go, if you call on Him He will answer. Contrary to some religious people’s opinions, God never runs out of grace. He makes new mercy every morning.

I love you all and hope to hear from you! Let me know what you are feeling about purpose and God’s plan for you life.

On my way,

Steph

Good morning friends!! Hope you are well and living in God’s divine favor! I am doing awesome! It is a clear, sunny 60 degree day here in Shreveport. The kids are out of school for Marin Luther King, Jr. day so they are puttering around here enjoying their “free” day. Jon is already at the church working. He is leaving for Dominican Republic in two days so he has a lot to do to prepare. We are doing all of our first of the year planning and organizing so we are really running like crazy! We are on a Daniel’s fast as a church and that is going well. About 75 percent of our faith community is fasting to some degree! And God is blessing!! We had some more tremendous church yesterday!! So many visitors and new people joining our church. I had finally learned everyone’s names but now I just about have to give up!! God is good!!

 I had some stuff in that journal I wrote out of last time and I was going to kinda just “cut and paste” something out of that again for you. Good stuff but I feel like this blog should be up to date and what I am experiencing NOW. So, as often as I can I will send a “fresh word” out to you.

There were some old notes in there from a Ladies Tea so I will revisit them because this is a subject I have been thinking about this weekend.

Have any of you…let me rephrase, would any of you admit to ever watching that horrible show called Cheaters?? Just in case you haven’t, let me educate you. It is along the same lines as Jerry Springer (seen that one?!) It goes like this, someone calls the show and says, “I think my man is cheatin’ on me.” So they get footage of the “cheater” and when they have enough evidence, they call the “cheatee” back and show her (or him) the evidence. Then they get extremely agitated and the producer guy has to hold them back while they confront the cheater. It can get pretty nasty! Everybody going at everybody else! What a mess!

And all because somebody cheated.

But not all cheating is bad. In fact, all of us cheat everyday and we’re not asked to be on a TV show. Of course, we don’t cheat on our spouses or our taxes or our tests because that would be wrong. But we cheat.

How do we cheat? In a lot of different ways. We cheat when we eat, when we sleep, when we work, when we relax. But most importantly-and what I want to talk with you about today-is WHAT and WHO do we cheat?

Have any of you ever read Andy Stanley’s book about cheating? (All of the sudden the correct name slips my mind! Choosing to Cheat maybe…) It is incredible! It totally changed my way of thinking. Its premise-in a nutshell-is that when you choose to do something, you are choosing to cheat something else. We only have so many days in our lives (that sounds like a soap opera!), we only have so many meals to eat, so many days to work. Essentially, we choose what we do with our lives. We always have a choice! You may say, “Well I don’t have a choice about paying my taxes or going to work.” Actually, you do! You could move to another country (are there any countries that don’t pay taxes?) or you could go on welfare. Now, I doubt moving from America or even moving to the projects is really what you want. But realize that you DO have that choice.

So…everyday when you wake up, you begin to make choices. What will you choose and what will you cheat?? What will remain un-done when this day is over? Who will be disappointed? Whose needs will go unmet?

We are on this Daniel’s fast right now as a church and the more I talk to people the more I realize that we are learning to make good food choices. Sure, as I put that plain salad with just veggies and nuts on it, I have to say to myself (and out loud if I can get by with it!), “This is so good for me! I love this healthy food! This tastes so good!” (I think I may have learned that from Oprah and Dr. Oz about retraining my mind to think positive instead of negative when I am doing something good for me even though it doesn’t FEEL good…But that’s another story for another day!) No, I didn’t get eggs and ranch dressing on my salad! I cheated them! I cheated on my taste buds too! But I chose to eat healthy and fast as a sacrifice to my Lord. We are learning that eating healthy food won’t kill us and that there is really no such thing as Ranch dressing withdrawals no matter what your kids tell you.

When we choose, there are always consequences. No matter what you choose-good or bad-consequences will follow along shortly. And a lot of times, what feels good to us at the time is detrimental to us in the long run. Whether it is in our health or our free time or our relationships, we choose every minute of every day who and what we are going to cheat. Essentially, we choose both the choice and the consequence in the same breath! How many times have you eaten that cupcake and knew-maybe even said out loud!-that this was a bad choice that would bring about negative consequences but you thought it was worth it so you did it anyway?? Everything must be weighed in the balance and we must intentionally make the best choices (whether it feels good or not!).

Cheating is good sometimes! When I cheat bad health and weight gain by eating healthily, cheating is good! When I cheat my favorite TV shows by spending more time with my children and spouse, cheating is God-ordained! If we could reprogram our minds to realize that yes, we are going to cheat someone, something, sometime, somewhere. But what are we going to cheat? Surely, we won’t choose to cheat our families or God! We wouldn’t do it intentionally but we sometimes don’t realize what and when we cheat.

 I ask you to think today as you go about your life and try to determine what and who you are in the habit of cheating. Do you consistently cheat your family and choose your work? Do you cheat God by choosing to stay home and watch TV instead of gathering with other Christians to worship? Or do you cheat bad health by choosing to eat healthily and exercise? Do you cheat divorce by putting your spouse first? Don’t feel like you have to go along with the crowd and do everything they do! Choose to cheat wisely today and you will live a “no-regrets” lifestyle.

Be blessed today! The Bible says that the choice is put before us. Choose life! Choose health and happiness and joy! Choose a loving and supportive family! You will never regret it if you cheat like this!

On my way,

Steph

Hello friends!! Hope you are well and living under God’s divine blessing!! Had such an incredible weekend with the Lord! We got some great footage and we will be presenting it to you real soon. Apostle David Hendrickse from Zimbabwe by way of San Antonio was our guest minister. The atmosphere was electrifying!! God showed OUT! So many miracles, deliverances and healings were going on that we couldn’t keep up with it all!! We’ll tell you more about it at a later time.

 Just sitting on my bed “sharpening my saw” (for you Steven Covey fans out there)…I am too exhausted to clean house after the weekend we have had! So I pulled out some books sitting by my bed and thought I’d do some reading and journaling. I have an awesome journal my neice Audi brought me back from one of her mission trips to India. It is made out of scraps from the people who live there on a trash pile. It is beautiful. I had used it from the middle of ‘06 to late ‘07.

 Many of you know the journey that I have been on since that time. (You can read some of my blogs and understand a lot of what I have been through.) Well, I found some entries that I hadn’t shared with you that I thought might be beneficial. So here is an entry from a while back…

Practical application of God-awareness into our everyday lives…I think that because I am called to convey spiritual truths in a practical, physical way, I have to live a very “everyday, normal” lifestyle. NO perfection here! No head in the clouds, no walking on water for me. I’m just the soccer mom next door who drives the dirty minivan. Someone the “average” woman can relate to.

I remember an older lady commenting to me right before I left to go to the hospital to deliver my third child that I “didn’t know what it was really like to have a baby” since my other two had been delivered by C-section. I couldn’t believe my ears! (I did end of having my baby the “old-fashioned” way! So there! I’m a REAL mother now!)

I’ve had an emergency c-section, a planned c-section, a “normal” delivery, been induced, been stuck with a three foot needle for an epidural that didn’t work, breezed through a birth without feeling a thing…So Sis. Nell, by golly I do know a thing or two about childbirth!

But do I have to go through it all to share my knowledge? Did I have to actually experience everything about childbirth to “know what it really feels like to have a baby”?

Job says “My ears had heard of You but now my eyes have seen You.” I love that verse! So many times we go through things so we can assitst people who go through similar circumstances.(There’s a verse in Hebrews I think that says that exact thing but I’m too lazy to get up to get my Bible! Check it out!)

I know that I am insulated to a certain degree from a lot of the harsher aspects and realities of some women’s lives. And I am grateful! I have never been through cancer or divorce or rehab. So it’s not a particular “knowing” that I have about life.

If I had to battle these specific tragedies, I would probably be focused on that one reality and not the general or all-purpose application of God into lives. Number one, I wouldn’t have the strength to give to other people because I myself would be so wounded.

Everyone has a cross to bear. What is yours? What is mine? Everyone looks at everyone else and says either, “You just have the perfect life! Nothing bad has ever come your way.” Or “How can you manage to stand up on two feet? I would be curled up in a fetal position if I were going through what you are going through.” That’s why we are told to bear our own burdens. Of course, we are also expected to help others bear their burdens. But the simple fact is that God gives us each grace to go down our destined courses. We are all called down different paths! It doesn’t help us to look at someone else on their path. It makes absolutely no difference to us whether we feel someone else is breezing through life or carrying too heavy of a load. Concentrate on your walk and successfully carrying your own burdens and you will do well.

Then when we are victorious and filled with joy, we are able to assist others with their loads! It all comes around full-circle.

We can do it with God’s grace. Period.

Be blessed on your journey! Will talk with you again soon!

On my way,

Stephanie

So many thoughts racing through my head today! Not only visions of sugarplums and Christmas gifts but I keep going back to something the Lord is trying to speak to me through the miracle of this season…the miracle of incarnation..the mystery of the Immaculate Conception…God in flesh. 

I know it is through faith that we are God’s children. We have to believe things we don’t see or understand. Faith is the foundation of our relationship with our Creator. Most of us really believe that God did come down in the flesh and was implanted in the womb of a virgin. Wow!! And we think other religions are far-fetched! The entire Christmas story begins with that giant leap of faith. Yet, when it comes to believing God would live inside of us and use us to further His kingdom, we think that is a stretch. What is the difference?? He has already done it once! He began the salvation story on the basis that He can use frail human flesh to accomplish His purpose. Before the foundation of the world, that was His plan! Is He trying to tell us something this Christmas season? Something about us and not just about shepherds and angels?

 As I was preparing to write this, a friend of mine emailed me. Now this woman is successful. As far as I can tell, everything she has touched has turned to gold. She is accomplished in marriage, parenthood, ministry, relationships and career. Yet, she is concerned that she is just a “country girl” and why would anyone want to read what she is inspired to write in her blogs. It was such a perfect example of what has been on my mind this morning that I had to include it. (You still love me I hope??)

Even though the miracle and mystery of God coming in flesh to a virgin girl has been thrown in our faces all month, we still don’t get it! Mary didn’t get it at first either. She was flesh like us and said, “How can this be?” She knew that in her flesh, she could never accomplish this task. It took a miracle!

I remember like it was yesterday. I was being a single parent while my husband was off winning the world. I was also homeschooling and had no family close by, no support system. One day I blew it. I couldn’t take anymore and I yelled and bit a child’s head off for not understanding what I was trying to teach. I separated myself and went to my prayer area. Except I wasn’t praying as much as I was weeping and gnashing my teeth (I’m not really sure what that means but it sounds pretty scary and a lot like what I was actually doing…). I literally was pulling at my hair trying to punish myself for failing again when I had tried so hard. I was saying stuff like “how do I think I am a minister when I can’t even hold my temper with my child” and “I am so unworthy to be a mom and especially someone held high as a spiritual leader.” It was bad…I asked the Lord to speak to me through His word because I was in such a state. I then opened the Bible to the story of the talents. I begin to read and didn’t really understand how this could apply to me when I got to the last servant’s story. The servant was so scared of his master (he said he was a hard man) that he just hid his talents. The Lord spoke to me out of that story and showed me that I was looking at Him just like that servant in the story looked at his master. I just knew that my Lord was hard and would zap me to hell when I made a mistake and blew it. He showed me that what He does get upset about is when we hide our talents and don’t use what He has given us for the furtherance of His kingdom! He wants us to be “good and faithful.” He’s not expecting “perfect.”

It is all about grace! IF we could do it on our own, we wouldn’t be dependant on Him! He has shown me that these last few days. This is how God had it planned all along-since the foundation of the world. IF we could “have it all together” we wouldn’t need Him! We are completed in Him! We can never be good enough. But we shouldn’t hide our talents because we think we have failed Him and ourselves and everyone else. I opened His word to 2 Cor. 12 this morning-”My GRACE is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in weakness.” He’s not talking about His weakness because there is no weakness in God. His power is perfected in our weakness! He needs us as much as we need Him!! It is hard to wrap our human minds around this concept. We show God’s power by overcoming even though we are weak. Paul goes on to say, “When I am weak, then I am strong.” Wow! He understood! He sums up the letter by saying, “We are weak in Him. Yet by God’s power we will live with Him to serve you.” There’s that word again-serve. Is that what this is all about? How does grace and salvation and weakness and servanthood all work together? I don’t know! It was God’s idea not mine. I am still striving to be perfect. I still think I have to have it all together before I can be used. I have not fully been convinced of the power and the miracle of Christmas. I am working on it.

I don’t know if I have made any sense today and I’ve got to run. I encourage you today to use what God has given you. Speak that word, write that book, sing that song. You can do it! Realize that God is speaking a powerful word to all of us here at this holiday season. He needs us to step up to the plate and serve. We were called and chosen to serve. Maturity as a Christian means we serve. One of our goals at our church is know, grow, go. As we know God and grow in Him, the next step is to GO! Do something for God! Don’t mumble about how He expects so much and you didn’t want to disappoint so you are simply giving back what He gave you. No! He wants us to multiply and increase even though we may “blow it” along the way.

God bless you this holiday season. I know there are many who are experiencing sadness or loss at this time. I pray an extra special gift of God’s love to be given to you. We have to hold out on the journey! Happier times are around the bend.

On my way,

Stephanie

I was cleaning out drawers and found this old journal. I had finished it a couple of years back but so much of it still rings true today. I hope you see that you are not the only one going through the things you are going through!! Life is a journey, a process. What helps us through the trying times is knowing that someone is on the journey right beside us, encouraging us on our way. I hope I can be there for you! I have had the fight of my life this year and I want to update you on all of it. But for today…some words that were written over two years ago but still hit a heart note.

2-9 “This could be a red-letter day in our lives. J is taping his first TBN segment! He will be on air Fri. We believe God’s hand is in it. I am at the end of my little prayer book. I have read back over my past entries many times but not today. I don’t know that I can bear it! I feel so removed from the woman that began this book. I looked back over videos from B and I wonder who that woman is! I am in a very uncomfortable place right now. We are forging uncharted territory-for us!-and it is very hard and awkward. We don’t know where this new trail will lead! I do know that I am definitely not the same woman I was when I started this journey. Is that good or bad? I don’t know! I have prayed, cried, analyzed, studied until I just can’t anymore. I am pooped! I am lying , exhausted in God’s hands saying,” Wherever you put me is where I will be.” This is such a “no man’s land” for us. I guess in the desert, in the heat of the battle, you get disoriented. I don’t know what to pray, dream, study, DO. Not only do I not have the answers, I don’t even know what questions are being asked of me! I guess this is total dependance and submission. I wonder what Abraham thought when God told him to sacrifice his son? Did he think “I’ve done so much already and now you want my dearest thing!” or was he so dead to himself that he just gave up and trusted God with the outcome? Lord, I really need direction! I have all these dreams, ideas, songs, desires! Will anything ever come to fruition? I am only doing what You and Jon have taught me all these years-walk after God’s spirit and voice. I am sorry I am so weak and dense but please speak a word, a feeling, a reigniting of a passion. I want to burn brightly for You but right now I feel like a candle that is weak and about to flicker out. Re-ignite my flame!”

I hope these words hit a chord in your heart and lets you know that there is someone feeling what you’re feeling! I made it through that and you will too! Hang in there and count your blessings!!

 On my way,

stephanie suber